"No Fool" Lyrics
Met her in a classroom
At my alma mater true-
A lecture on the works of Albert Camus
Didn’t read a thing
I was merely auditing
Earned my last credits back in ’72
There I was
Dancin’ in her dorm room to a heavy buzz
Reaching for my vial of Viagra ‘cause
I can’t subdue my passion but my blood flow does
Well there’s no fool
Like an old fool
I’m here for trouble- can you tell me the rules?
I like old stuff
And I’m old school
But I’m still stuck on what the babies can do
Started on the bo-flex
Looking for some new pecs
I found arthritis and a tubful of Percs
Went for botox
Till I had to detox
The doctors gave me a perennial smirk
There I am
Helping her to study for a big exam
The book is called “America in Vietnam”
We reached the year that I became Canadian
Well there’s no fool
Like an old fool
I’m here for trouble- can you tell me the rules?
I like old stuff
And I’m old school
But I’m still stuck on what the babies can do
In a sweater on the grass
In the fresh New England fall
In my arms, my dream- at last!
Then my baby starts to bawl
She said “Man, it’s really sad-
But I keep thinking ‘bout my dad….”
Now she’s got a new bud
Says he likes to drink blood
Charmed her with a black rose
Posing in her pantyhose
Guess I’ve reached my autumn years
It’s becoming oh so clear
I’ve seen the last of those fine bottles of wine
Give me one more chance-
Before they toss my old ass in an ambulance
Somehow I am going to find a new romance-
I must relearn “The Hustle” for the seniors’ dance
And there’s no fool
Like an old fool
(I never knew that I could be so uncool)
I’m an old hound
But I still drool
Too late to send me to obedience school
Well there’s no fool
Like an old fool
I’m here for trouble- can you tell me the rules?
I like old stuff
And I’m old school
But I’m still stuck on what the babies can do